Modern life is full of stress. Exams, interviews, public speaking, communication with the boss… All these situations cause our knees to shake, our palms to sweat, and our heart to jump out of our chest. I think each of us is familiar with this unpleasant feeling, similar to a mixture of fear and despair. And someone else is accompanied by a surge of aggression. In life, such emotional storms are very disturbing – of course. I will tell you how to stop being nervous and learn to maintain composure in any situation without pills.
Why we are nervous: the main reasons for nervousness
Have you ever wondered why some people in stressful situations are able to remain calm and cool, and others are not? There are three main reasons for increased nervousness, let’s look at them.
Features of the nervous system
According to the theory of academician Pavlov, the human nervous system is of two types-strong and weak. Strong is characterized by endurance and high performance. The nerve cells of a person with this type are able to withstand strong or long-term excitement, without going into a state of inhibition.
A weak nervous system cannot boast of such endurance. But it is hypersensitive and is able to respond to impulses that a strong nervous system will not even notice. For example, to distinguish the subtlest shades of colors and nuances of human emotions.
The strength of the nervous system is an innate indicator, like the color of the eyes or the size of the ears. It underlies the division of people into temperaments. Sanguine, choleric, phlegmatic have a strong nervous system, and melancholic-weak.
As you may have already guessed, those with a weak nervous system are more often and more nervous. So if you are melancholic, it is in your nature to be nervous and stressed about anything. However, you can significantly reduce your nervousness and stop being nervous if you follow our advice.
This character trait can turn even a representative of the calmest temperament into a bundle of nerves. How does it manifest itself? A person greatly exaggerates the sphere of their influence and takes on a lot of extra. The psyche cannot cope with such a burden and reacts with nervousness and irritability.
I suggest that you take a small test to determine how strongly you Express this quality. Read the following statements and note which ones are specific to you.
- When you are alone with a person, you feel responsible for their mood.
- You always try to anticipate everything in advance to the smallest detail.
- You panic in situations where you need to entrust your life to someone. For example, during a flight on an airplane.
- You like to keep everything under control.
- And you often criticize people for doing something wrong.
- You feel guilty about someone who likes you if you can’t reciprocate.
- You spend a lot of effort to make a good impression on everyone.
If more than half of the statements correspond to you, then you tend to be Hyper-responsible. You need to learn about healthy apathy. After all, nervousness is not the only consequence of this personality trait. Hyper-responsiveness can provoke the development of panic attacks. Pay special attention to the first three tips presented below.
Working without rest at all is bad for both physical and psychological health. If you have recently become painfully responsive to everything, irritated by trifles, you have started to get mad and infuriate, think about a vacation.
Just two weeks away from the hustle and bustle of the city will help you get your nerves in order and start living a full life. Do not neglect your rest in the pursuit of money, otherwise, you will have to spend this money on restoring your destroyed health.
How to stop being nervous
Let’s go directly to practice. The following recommendations will help you calm your nervous system, learn to relax, and control your emotions.
Don’t plan something that doesn’t depend on you
When we try to control something that is outside our area of competence, 90 % of the time we will fail. Always consider factors that are beyond your control in your plans. Then you won’t have to worry about things not going according to plan.
For example, you are going on vacation with your significant other. You can imagine in advance how you will climb mountains, go to museums, hang out in night clubs. But when you get there, it turns out that your companion only has the strength to lie on the beach and SIP cocktails. Naturally, your unfulfilled fantasies pour out a stream of irritation and resentment.
Get rid of expectations
Unjustified expectations make us nervous, tense, and upset. Getting people to meet our expectations is an impossible task. Therefore, you need to learn not to expect or demand anything from them. Except for what is legally required of you.
Yes, it is incredibly difficult, but it is the main guarantee of peace of mind and harmony. Let people think as they see fit, do what they see fit, and treat you as they see fit.
Start with a simple one. Stop reacting to other people’s statements in social networks. If someone has expressed an opinion on their page that differs from yours, just scroll on. You do not need to convey to the person all your life experience, waiting for him to come to his senses. Otherwise, you will Wake up in an hour in the midst of a verbal altercation angry and irritated.
People with a low level of self-control usually suffer from increased nervousness. Their body and thoughts are not controlled by them, they have difficulty switching and therefore often find themselves at the mercy of negative emotions. Meditation is a great way to learn to control your reactions and start living more consciously.
Many famous people whose lives are associated with constant stress are saved by meditation. Among them are Madonna, Hugh Jackman, Keanu Reeves, Clint Eastwood and many others.
It’s time for you to join their ranks. Start to meditate for 20 minutes a day. Very soon you will notice that you have become more calm and balanced. The level of anxiety will decrease, the severity and headaches will disappear. You will no longer fret and wind yourself up in critical situations, you will be able to quickly put your nerves in order and get rid of obsessive thoughts on your own.
During your meditations, you will learn how to breathe properly to stop your anxiety attacks and nervousness. If you don’t know where to start, the video will help you.
With the help of laughter, you can quickly relieve nervous tension and stop being nervous. When you feel that a wave of irritation or anxiety is coming over you, distract yourself by watching funny videos and pictures. You can also read jokes or listen to stand-up comedians perform.
Learn to look with humor at your life’s problems. Self-irony is the best medicine for all nervous diseases.
Arrange water therapy
Water is a great antidepressant. No wonder people are so drawn to the sea. If it’s summer, try to swim in open water more often. In the cold season, go to the pool.
You can also use water as an ambulance in moments of nervous breakdowns and tantrums. A cold shower will quickly restore your calm and balance. A hot bath before bedtime will help to bring the shattered nerves in order after a hard day at work or school.
The sound of water has a calming effect. Therefore, psychologists recommend installing a room fountain at home or in the office. Constant background murmur increases performance, increases the emotional background, reduces the level of anxiety and excitement in stressful situations.
When your nervous system is at its limit, and your throat is full of irritation, do not restrain yourself. Payout the accumulated negativity and tension, and calmness will return to you again.
Avoid “acute” situations
The problem is easier to prevent than to solve. So if you don’t know how to calm down in a particular situation, try to avoid it. If, for example, you are very nervous and worried when you are late, leave the house in advance.
Analyze the situations that make you nervous. About 30 % of them will have to endure stoically, but 70 % can be avoided. Write them down on a piece of paper and hang them in front of your eyes to remember them well.
I will share a personal example with you. I get nervous and annoyed when I go shopping with someone. The endless wait outside the fitting room makes me mad. Sometimes it comes to quarrels, after which I am very ashamed. So recently, I decided to go shopping alone. Quickly and nerves are in order.
Carefully prepare for responsible events
In which case will you be more nervous – if you prepare well for the exam or if you come unprepared? The answer is obvious. If you value nerve cells, take the time to prepare.
Of course, this applies not only to exams. Public speaking, an important meeting, or a conversation with your boss are situations that do not tolerate improvisation. At least, if you are not a professional speaker.
Exercise neutralizes the excess of the stress hormone cortisol. By exercising regularly, you will keep your hormonal background normal. As a result-less nervous, irritated, upset. In addition, scientists have proven that sport increases performance, endurance, and concentration. In General, solid advantages. and help you to stop being nervous.
7 tips on how to stop being nervous
Now let’s talk about General tips that will not teach you to stop being nervous immediately, but will allow you to gradually reduce your level of nervousness:
As soon as you feel that you are starting to get nervous, repeat: “I am calm, I am absolutely calm,” while breathing deeply and evenly.
Visualize your emotions.
Imagine that the rising nervousness is a wild horse that you put a bridle on, or a dangerous animal that you lock securely in a cage, or a thing that should be hidden in a remote room and forgotten, etc.
Like something that annoys you.
You hate a certain habit in your husband, but you love your husband very much. Think of its virtues, and now imagine that the stimulus is not an irritant at all, but one of its virtues.
And why worry about the fact that your favorite has so many advantages?
Protect yourself from stress.
You can learn this if you imagine that between you and the source of the irritation is an imaginary door, screen, waterfall, mountain, etc. The second way is to make the dangerous ridiculous. “Harry Potter” read/watched?
Remember there was such a harmful creature that turned into the greatest fear of man. The only way to overcome it was to imagine this fear in a funny situation. Do the same.
Do you have a nasty colleague that constantly makes you nervous? During the next attack, imagine that your colleague’s pants fall off, and under them – women’s lace panties. The whole office is laughing at this.
Get rid of the guilt.
You made a mistake. So try to fix it. If it worked, why bother at all?
If not, then honestly admit that you did wrong, apologize to those who were offended by your action and forget about what happened. It is important to learn to let go of an unpleasant situation, and not to cherish and cherish a sense of guilt.
Don’t strive for perfection.
This world is imperfect, the people around you are imperfect, you are imperfect. Trying to change this will lead to a nervous breakdown, or worse. Accept your own shortcomings as well as those of others.
Yes, you need to develop and strive to become better, but ideal people exist only in fairy tales and on the pages of ladies ‘ novels. You – in real life, so you have the right to drawbacks, mistakes, weaknesses.
Don’t build castles in the air.
At one of the training, I heard that the main reasons that make people constantly nervous:
high expectations that are not met;
excessive dreaminess, which leads to a loss of connection with reality;
the bar is too high to jump to.
You need to learn to live for today, not pipe dreams, set realistic goals, and not build castles in the air.
Now you know what to do to stop getting nervous and become calm like a boa constrictor. We discovered the root causes of nervousness and learned to deal with it. How do you handle this problem? Share in the comments.