Self-respect is a very important component of any happy person’s life. Nowadays, low self-esteem is a big problem. After all, this is a factor that prevents a person from growing and developing, and sometimes even can do a lot of harm. You must learn to respect yourself! How to do this and where to start, we will tell you below.
What is self-respect and why do you need to learn to respect yourself?
If we look at textbooks on psychology or sociology,we will learn what self-respect is.
- In scientific language, it has this interpretation: it is a subjective assessment that a person gives to himself, determining his capabilities, the degree of need and importance for others.
- Self-esteem is not shown without adequate self-esteem. These two concepts are closely related and depend on each other.
- In turn, adequate self-esteem is the ability to soberly assess the individual’s potential. As well as making decisions according to these criteria and taking deliberate actions. If there is no good self-esteem, then there is no self-respect.
- An important factor in the formation of self-esteem is the level of claims to himself. A certain ratio of actual achievements to the goals set. Goals are more often set by a person based on the expected capabilities. This is the level of claims.
- In simple terms, a person may or may not believe in their capabilities. And looking at this factor, it accordingly acts or does not act on the way to the goal.
- Also of importance is the orientation of a person. That is, what he wants more: to achieve a result or avoid defeat. It is at this point that changes in self-esteem occur.
- Of course, the successes and positive outcomes designed to improve both self esteem and level of self-esteem. On the contrary, the process occurs if a person has failed. Then he begins to doubt his abilities, and the level of self-esteem falls.
- We can also say that self-esteem is an important part of personal development. After all, it is one of the main factors of motivation to achieve your goals and desires. If there is no motivation, then there are no goals, successes and, of course, defeats.
- Since nothing happens, but flows as usual, the individual is simply content with what is. And then self-esteem can be influenced by extraneous factors or other surrounding personalities.
Read this article : Why Self-Respect Is Crucial For Happiness
Basic principles to learn to respect yourself
Psychologists were able to identify a certain algorithm of actions that concerns how to learn to respect yourself. The system of raising self-esteem is a very complex and responsible process that includes certain nuances.
- First of all, in the question of how to begin to respect yourself, an important role is played by how a person treats himself. You must always soberly assess your advantages and disadvantages. This will allow you to learn to better understand your abilities.
- You should never set yourself impossible tasks. This leads to the fact that the person will not achieve the desired result, which will lead to depression and a sense of inferiority.
- You should never compare yourself with other people. Each person has their own advantages and disadvantages.
- It is recommended to always praise yourself for achieving any success and never punish yourself if you failed to achieve the desired result.
It is worth remembering that absolutely all people have their own shortcomings. But some of them reduce the effectiveness of their lives, constantly feel inferior. Other people, on the other hand, take their own shortcomings for granted and, despite them, become strong and independent.
The sense of self-esteem
This concept has a direct impact on the quality of relationships with others. If an individual has a sense of self-worth, it is easier for them to build constructive and healthy relationships with other people. He is sure that he is not inferior to them in any way in abilities or personal qualities. That is, he feels no worse than others and therefore is confident in his right to respect and understanding.
It is another matter if a person has formed a biased attitude towards himself, characterized by inferiority, lack of confidence in his own abilities and powers. Of course, very often it is quite justified. But instead of correcting the situation, the person takes the easiest path: he convinces himself that it is useless. He repels others with his appearance and behavior. Such people do not have to rely on mutual understanding and success. It is also wrong to think that they will be pitied and treated leniently. This approach has never brought anything good, but only worsened the problems.
Self-esteem is based on self-approval. This is inextricably linked with self-awareness, because a person must know everything that concerns himself:
- Why does he think this way;
- Who is he really;
- What is the history of the formation of his personality?
Without finding answers to these questions, a person will not be able to achieve the desired level of self-esteem.
Read this article: The 4 components of self-esteem
Self-esteem and self-esteem: how related are these concepts
A very important point for each individual is to find and acquire a “judge” who gives an assessment of his personal qualities, behavior, and appearance. Often, this role is assigned to someone who is dear to a person, causes sympathy, and even feelings, including love. Every step on the path of self-development, he checks with the object of his desire, seeking its approval and support. Here it is worth considering that no matter how perfect and ideal the object of sympathy may seem, it will be characterized by a biased or deliberately biased position. For example, he will approve of aggressive behavior, motivating it with the definition “a real man should force himself to respect”. Or Vice versa, every speech and expression of opinion in the presence of others can be accompanied by advice: “you should not go ahead, you should be modest or shy.”
At this point, a special role is given to the concept of self-esteem of the individual. A person’s good self-esteem allows them to look at themselves from the outside and be critical of their success or unfortunate mistakes. In this situation, you can not listen to the sometimes unfounded opinion of other people, even if they are loved ones or friends.
Dignity and self-respect are impossible without developing your own psychological schemes. Every person who has formed a stable logical scheme will be able to give a clear and objective definition of the level at which they are located.
How to learn to respect yourself and know your worth
Self-esteem and self-love determine our mental comfort. Denying their own identity, a person can not believe in their own strength and lowers the level of claims. Analyze how well you feel about yourself.
Self-esteem, usually called self-esteem, and self-esteem are the core of the personality. Our motivations, goals, and aspirations depend on our level of self-esteem.
To understand how well you feel about yourself, answer the question: “do you Accept yourself as you are?”. Or have you created an unattainable image, realize that you are far from it, but do not even try to approach your ideal self?
While the superego runs vigorously in the morning, eats a balanced diet, reads smart books, never gets out of balance and does not know the defeats in arguments, the ego mostly reclines on the couch and watches TV after returning from a boring job. Self-respect in this situation is not necessary to speak. It is another matter if a person behaves as his ideal image might have done, or at least takes real steps in the right direction.
The conflict between the ideal image and reality will hinder self-esteem until you start to overcome your natural laziness and engage in self-improvement. However, there is an easier way – give up the ideal image, lower the bar. The place of your ideal image will be taken by a lazy person and a slacker, and you will merge in a harmonious Union. It’s unlikely that you will be proud of yourself, but it may stop bothering you. I hope no one wants to relax and grunt.
How to grow a sense of self-esteem
Thus, self-esteem increases if we gradually approach the ideal we have created and decreases when we move away from it. Let’s figure out the perfect image. Do you know him well?” How do you match it? I suggest creating your ideal portrait: what would we like to be if the circumstances were favorable?
We take a blank sheet and write down in a column the qualities that our ideal ego should possess. We view the list and note the qualities that we already possess. Much of a coincidence? The more of them, the higher the level of self-esteem should be. In other words, the closer the ideal is, the more reason to respect yourself. By the way, the absolute coincidence of the ideal and the real indicates excessive self-confidence or low self-esteem.
The real and ideal Selves cannot coincide in an adequate self-assessment, because then the conflict – the driving force that makes us move forward and improve-will disappear. And without development, degradation begins-this is inevitable. Overcoming the discrepancy between the ideal and the real Self makes you grow and respect yourself. But what if the differences are huge and there is no power to change anything?
Learn More: 7 Ways to Build High Self-Esteem
respect yourself: Let’s deal with self-esteem
Psychologists say that first you need to understand how the false image was formed since self-esteem with such an imbalance is clearly inadequate.
For example, Peter dreams of earning 20 thousand rubles a month without control from the boss. Fedor makes plans for oceanfront bungalows and spiritual practices in Tibet. If in the first case there is a low self-esteem, then in the second – ambitious goals and needs of a completely different plan. Of course, these people have very different ideas about themselves, and it seems that the ways to achieve the goal will also be different.
The plans of a self-respecting person are quite feasible, although their implementation requires effort. But with distorted self-esteem, low or high, self-esteem, for the most part-a farce. Equally far from true self-respect is a person with an incomplete secondary education who thinks of himself as a President, and a certified philologist who works as a loader.
We recognize a person with a sense of self-esteem by their constant poise, benevolence, and openness. A truly self-respecting person does not need to constantly put up cordons around his person, such a person is always ready for dialogue, easy to communicate. Another characteristic feature is a respectful attitude to people, regardless of their age and status.
The second component of self-esteem is the basic “I feel good (bad) about myself”attitude. This belief does not depend on the opinions of others or on our real merits, it is born in the earliest childhood when only the assessment of parents matters. If this component prevails, the person treats himself with respect.
When you combine basic self-love and the feeling that you are approaching your ideal self-image, self-esteem is confirmed by self-esteem. This is the happy case when a person becomes balanced, effective, and completely satisfied with the overall assessment of their life.
Distortions occur if real achievements lack emotional self-approval or, on the contrary, self-love is not supported by grounds for self-respect. There are feelings of underestimation and resentment of life.
The embodiment of self-esteem is a lion in its natural habitat. How many people are willing to test how strong it is? So people feel how much self-respect we have developed. Few people think of making an unfortunate or vulgar joke with a person who has developed self-respect or manipulating it. Attempts, of course, are possible, but they are stopped clearly and unambiguously. Those who suffer from low self-esteem periodically find themselves in situations where others abuse their kindness, humiliate them, and interfere in their personal spheres. Lack of self-respect becomes a provocation for individuals prone to rudeness, which leads to a deepening of the belief: “I am not worthy”.
How to learn to respect yourself
We can’t change those around us, so we will have to change ourselves. Learn to be proud of yourself and give yourself a reason to do so. One day you will notice how the inner position will manifest itself in the posture, look, and expression of the face. Do not doubt that others will appreciate the changes, and you will like the changes.
Only you can assess the state of your self-esteem and understand how much work is ahead. We can give you some universal tips to start with.
Don’t deny yourself
Accept yourself as you are. This is how parents love their children-of course, regardless of their appearance and character flaws. There are no perfect people, but there are people who are confident.
If you love yourself, try to improve yourself: read a lot, expand your horizons, work on yourself.
Learn to love yourself
We are not talking about selfishness, which is based solely on satisfying one’s own needs. But do not treat yourself as an enemy, allow yourself some liberties at least sometimes. Make a list of the pleasures that you would like to afford. Perhaps you will be happy with shopping or a bath with fragrant foam, or maybe you have long dreamed of just spending the whole weekend at home reading a book. Don’t be too hard on yourself.
Be loyal to yourself
Treat yourself with tolerance, do not be angry with yourself if something did not work out immediately, do not mercilessly reproach for failures. Try again or more times – and everything will work out.
Find a business that you like
It is difficult to respect yourself if you have to curse your alarm clock every morning, plod to a hateful job, and consider yourself a slave on the galleys. Change your profession if you need to, but do what you like. When you stop making daily sacrifices, you will feel like a Creator, and you will no longer have to think about self-respect.
“Census” of the environment
Analyze how pleasant the people you communicate with are to you. If you know that there is a person you don’t want to meet, do everything possible to reduce your contacts to a minimum. You will get rid of negative emotions, and stop feeling remorse from the fact that you are constantly irritated.
Don’t be deceived by empty promises
Learn to keep your promises. Having promised yourself something, try to fulfill it – you will enjoy it, and at the same time increase your self-esteem.
Don’t compare yourself with others
You do not need to compare yourself with anyone else – you are a separate person, worthy of respect and do not need examples to follow. If someone, in your opinion, is worthy of imitation, evaluate their experience, analyze their actions and life principles. You can learn a lot from more successful people, but you don’t have to compare yourself to them.
Let go of the past
Forget about your old grievances, forgive the offenders, and wish them well. While you are constantly returning to past events, the present is passing by. You are missing opportunities by continuing already completed arguments. This is a waste of time and effort.
Value yourself, and if you think that the reasons for this are not enough, engage in self-improvement. We can’t always change circumstances, but everyone can learn to live with dignity. Do not commit acts that you will be ashamed of, do not betray yourself, and be honest with yourself – then you will be able to respect yourself with full rights.