One of the key features of a free and whole person, master of his life, is a high degree of spontaneity and arbitrariness in managing one’s own emotions. The person is in a hurry, unsure of himself, “oppressed” by society. Expresses his emotions only in reaction to various external stimuli. He, like a puppet, “pulls his arms and legs” when the proper control is exercised over him. Of course, such a person can not boast of leading a high-quality and full-fledged life, because he simply does not reign over his life. Any” bad “news, any disapproving word of others immediately brings him out of the” rut ” and it takes him time to return to a stable emotional state. Therefore, to really enjoy life, you need to learn to control your emotions.
What are our emotions?
Regarding emotions, it is extremely important to understand that they are a manifestation of our bioenergetics. It is the same natural component as ours, such as blood or lymph. With the help of emotions, we interact with the surrounding reality, receive signals from it, compose our ideas, and make decisions. People who, as a result of head trauma, were deprived of the ability to experience emotions with them, were also deprived of the opportunity to make choices based on certain subjective preferences. Logic did not help them in this matter.
Emotionality, the ability to experiment and experience different emotional tones makes us alive and complete. Any effective communication between people requires an emotion, an emotional response. Creative creative work is also impossible if a person is not able to experience interest, enthusiasm, excitement, inspiration, etc.
In other words, we can not do without emotion. The only question is what is the “Control Center” in our life – emotions or reason. Emotions can be deceived by slipping US tasty (“sweet”), but harmful and even dangerous” food”, but the mind, armed with the ability to analyze and compare facts, is more difficult to deceive. And the mind, using the power of emotions, is almost impossible to deceive.
It is important to understand that emotions are energetically stronger than reason and even reasonable and conscious people, who fell under the influence of a strong emotion (hatred, anger, fear, greed for profit, envy, lust, resentment, etc.), begin to commit irrational, irrational actions, which they later bitterly regret. … And all because they did not learn at some point to competently manage their emotions.
Common mistakes in control emotions
In order to properly control your emotions, it is important to avoid mistakes that people make under the influence of stupid judgments and misconceptions gleaned on popular sites from incompetent bloggers.
Error # 1
The first mistake, the most common and common in managing emotions, is to block them. That is, if I feel an emotion that I do not want to feel at the moment, then I have to shout at him “stop!”and bring him back to the shed. Nothing good will come of it. To the natural stress, you will add stress related to the suppression of emotions, which will hit the body, and in addition, you will knock out reality and have different problems from it.
Error # 2
The second mistake is “asphalting a pit with radioactive waste”. It is then that in addition to a negative emotion (anger, rage, anger, despair), you put a false and hypocritical “smile” of positive mood. What you don’t really believe. Because it’s just an idea that has been instilled in you by various ” growth gurus.” Again, an additional stress that hits the body.
Error # 3
The next mistake is to satisfy your emotions. Scream when you’re angry. Become bored when you are afraid. Close up on yourself when you are in apathy. Beat like a hysterical child. And so on. There is nothing critical in such behavior for the body, but such irresponsibility in controlling your own emotions can go wrong for you. At the very least, they will stop taking you seriously.
Error # 4
The fourth mistake is to transfer any responsibility for what is happening in your life to emotions. To justify your words or actions with certain feelings. Say: “I’m not guilty – the devil seduced” (he was angry, tired, sleepy, etc.). This leads to the fact that a person, even considering that he controls himself, begins to easily follow his emotions.
Error # 5
The last mistake is to strive at all costs to stay in a positive emotional state (“thinking positively”) by”recovering”. Force yourself to be affable, look cheerful, cheerful, etc. and sincerely believe that this is the case. Thus, you yield from reality to a pink virtuality and begin to fight cruelly on the” hard edges ” of life, which you will no longer see. In addition, energetically exhaust yourself very quickly.
Basic exercises on control emotions
In order to avoid these mistakes and learn to control your emotions, start doing simple but extremely effective exercises. Do them regularly if you plan to achieve a significant effect.
Exercise # 1 – “Identification”.
The essence of this exercise is to understand what kind of emotion you feel at a given time. Anger or resentment, fear or excitement, whether pure emotion or mixed.
Since the main thing in controlling emotions is to observe them. In order to observe emotions qualitatively, one must distinguish them. To understand what emotions are, use the table of emotional states.
The exercise itself is quite simple – start observing yourself and, noticing a change in your emotional background, just ask yourself “what is it?”Ask until you have an accurate answer.
Exercise Number 2- ” transfer to the body”
Since all emotions are somehow projected onto the body, then by controlling or manipulating the body in any way. We can control the emotion. The essence of the exercise is that, having felt unpleasant emotions boil in you, you mentally transfer them to a part of the body (for example, in a fist), which you first strain, and then relax. And so many times. Until he lets go.
Another option is that there is strength to tighten the muscle and maintain tension as long as there is enough strength until the muscle itself begins to relax.
Exercise Number 3 ” inhale-exhale»
When a stormy, strong and literally exciting emotion occurs, it is almost impossible for an ordinary person to consciously follow and stop it. He suddenly ignited and immediately shouted at a loved one, and only then, with horror, he realized what he really did.
The only way out here is an automatic reflex, which will immediately block a negative emotion when it splashes. This reflex should consist of deep inspiration and slow exhalation. This must be solved by itself.
Exercise Number 4 ” virtual game”
Any experience includes not only the emotion itself. The bodily sensation and the accompanying thoughts (pleasant or not very), but also an image (vague or distinct, symbolic or real, associated with a past experience or association). Thanks to this, we can control and influence the emotion through a certain image.
To do this, visualize the emotion, set its size, shape, color, weight, density and start with what you get, play – try to change the color, shape or size. You can visualize it in the form of liquid and pour it from glass to glass.
(control emotions) Major league in emotion management
The difference between an ordinary person and a really advanced master who controls himself is that the Master is able not only to control his entire emotional spectrum and background States but also to arbitrarily create and experience all emotions. Experience joy, peace, sadness, a slight sadness, serenity, passion, etc. then when he wants and as much as he wants.
Of course, like any real skill, achieving such a degree of arbitrariness is not a week, nor a month, nor even a year of hard work on oneself. This is a long-term practice that, as in any other activity, requires 4 key elements: desire, diligence, effective methodology, and a competent mentor. If you have the first two – you really want to become a free and happy person and are ready to work on it. Then you can come to me for personal coaching in order to get high-quality techniques and professional mentoring.